Afterward: not the end

And so I sit back at home once again, watching an Audra Lynn session on the webstream. The whole IHOP experience is a bit surreal. For a month I lived what they call the "wasted life". Things changed in my heart for real and not by my own strength, just a gradual work as I baked away in God's presence. I have yet to see what the new season has in store for me. I'm not looking forward to going back to work, but hey such is life. But I have a new strength and purpose in me. Yes there are still mountains in my life, but I have new determination. Last Thursday's awakening meeting had such a thick presence of God as the music and worship seemed out of this world. I was enjoying it and yet was bummed to leave. But I know now this is how it's supposed to be for now. No, I'm not at IHOP, but I have a worshiping church and friends and leaders who are also hungry for God's presence. I have my guitar, the IHOP webstream, and the natural beauty of Oregon in the coming spring. God's presence is here, and though I don't always feel it, I know He's always right there. And I know there are broken people at work who need me to carry this to them as well.

I have some new songs, some I heard at IHOP and a couple I wrote. The song I wrote the last couple days started with just a bit of melody in a dream and much of the song just came together easily that morning. That was exciting, because songs haven't come that easily in the last couple years.

I know it won't be so easy in the coming weeks and tests will come. I just want there to be a way of getting out of the Sunday routine. I know as the end times draw near, more and more things will change in the ways of doing church. I'm not saying to copycat what's going on in other regions, and I don't have all the answers, but I know as the old Vineyard song says, there must be more. I wrote this new blog for a fresh start and to tell what's going on on my trip. I know I'm reverting to my geeky self by quoting a hobbit cartoon I grew up with, but I can't help but remember the words of Gandalf at the end: "...this story is not ended, but is only beginning..."

Prophecy at IHOP

So today was an interesting day for me. First I came to what appeared at first to be a normal Worship with the Word session on Colossians 3. Then they got onto appearing with Christ in glory, and people started laughing and groaning. Then they sang prophetically about the husband and wife joined together, and how we're enjoying the new wine, and all chaos broke loose, basically like the awakening meeting, but in the prayer room, which is normally where people sit and read their Bibles or dink around on computers. Hey, who let one of the ballet dancers out of their little area? I also thought it was interesting that it was about 9 in the morning. I texted Pastor and said the prayer room has gone bonkers.

A few days ago I heard about how to email the prophetic team and so I thought what the heck I'll try it. I'd had prophetic ministry at IHOP three years ago, and have had enough experience with IHOP to know they're generally with it. So near the end of the session they brought me into a side room with a couple other guys. The ministry team here was four people. What are prophetic people supposed to look like anyway? Back when I was a kid I think they were supposed to look like old guys who talked in King James English. These guys weren't exactly like that, but they were an interesting group I'll say, a combination of ages and styles. A young guy, a young girl, an Asian lady who seemed maybe in her 40s, and an old guy with gray hair.

So we'd sit and pray a bit, and then what do you know, they all turn on me right away speaking right to my situations and then laying hands on me. They said essentially that I'm an overcomer of mountains and can be encouraged by how far I've come already, and that though I still have more mountains I can pave the way for others. More mountains? What the heck? Didn't you forget the part about how I'm gonna be a famous rock star and marry Arwen Evenstar? Hmm, I guess that'll wait. But yeah, they were pretty right on.

Afterwards I stayed for a couple sessions. One was the heavy metal intercession time, where they'd wail on the guitars and pray for revival. I felt perhaps I could raise rocker horns, but decided that that wasn't a holy manifestation. After that came Audra Lynn, which of course I had to stay for. Who could do without electronica worship? Of all the IHOP songwriters she's perhaps my favorite at least in terms of albums. Love the progressive rock of course, but also her songs helped me at desperate times for me personally, and helped me keep my sanity, along with Misty Edwards and Justin Rizzo. So yeah, awesome session.

You ever play a computer game that's so addicting that it's hard to put away? IHOP worship can be like that. I know it sounds strange. I normally rarely worship for that long. If you've never been to IHOP it's worth a trip. Those who have gone know what I'm talking about. It helps having great worship and music. Kind of imagine the best worship you've had in a while on Sunday or whenever and imagine that for hours on end. When one worship service ends another team comes with a different feel, and then something totally different and powerful happens. Yeah, you can leave no problem, but what happens next that we might miss? Of course it also helps that there's not much else to do out here. It might be a bit ghetto, but I am free from a lot of distractions here.

I can't say it's always perfect, sometimes a session can drag and I start falling asleep and then either go walk or stretch outside for a bit or just leave. Or if it's a nightwatch, then I'd go eat something or drink caffeine and sometimes talk to people chillin out in the foyer, who are often renewal junkies and computer nerds like me. I mean hey as much as I like acoustic folk music and singers that sound like hobbit bards, depending on who it is, it can be tough at two in the morning. But more often than not, sessions at IHOP are powerful. And of course this has got to be the most spiritual crowd I've ever seen. I mean I'd be just in the restroom and I hear someone worshipping or praying in the stall. I mean hey I'm glad they love Jesus, but um...yeah.

So after making myself go home and take a nap, I came to the Awakening service. I don't go to these as much, since the crazy jumping and high energy praise wears me out more than it used to. However I know good stuff happens at these meetings, and it is my last couple nights here so I checked it out. It was the usual meeting with crazy praise and lots of encounters. I stayed a bit longer than usual though. When they got to praying for healing, they started mentioning stuff I had like allergies and joint pain, and some things that others close to me had that I could pray for them for. These things seemed to apply to me more than the usual healing meetings I see. What is this, healing meetings tailored to Josh? No major testimonies so far, but I know my faith is being worked on. So there, faith as a mustard seed is better than having to see, right? Well okay, I would like to see right away, but hey, it's a start.

Well, two more days till I leave. Better make the most of it.

Inked in Kansas City

Okay, well I've once again succombed to the lure of body art. I thought I'd get an authentic souvenir from Kansas City. And this is a mark of my trip. Jesus' nails I thought would be a good symbol. Okay a bit on the macabre side, but hey the cross wasn't a pretty thing, but it's become very important in my life lately. Throughout the trip God has been doing a work of restoration as far as bringing me back to the first love hunger I once had. It's pretty personal to explain. All I'll say is that Song of Solomon chapter 8 is a lot happier than chapter 5. There's a lot of things I need breakthrough on in life, relationship with God being the most important. And so He's doing that for me here.

In my old blog that I had last year, I was saying I wasn't sure when or if I'd get another one. During the trip I'd thought of the idea, and then decided to go with it. I said in that blog that a tattoo kind of represents a phase of life for me. I have three. The tribal cross in my left shoulder was my first tattoo during a crazy time for me personally. Once when asked what led me to it, I answered "insanity". The Song of the Night tat on my right shoulder was partly inspired by Tolkien and partly inspired by the way singing helped me during a desert time. The new one represents my time here in KC. And I think this will be some type of new season for me when I get back, though I'm not sure what's in store.

I had to venture into town to a shop recommended to me by someone back at the hotel. The bus system isn't easy around this area, but I made it work somehow. While I was in town I explored some more. Started at Crown Center with Einstein Bagels. Then went to the Broadway area to get my tat. The shop wasn't Capt Jack's back home, but the artist did a great job helping me get across what I wanted. It ended up just plain black with shading, with "mercy" in beautiful lettering. Simple and effective and looked good.

Also went to Chubby's which turned out very good. The waitress had a Chicago accent and kept calling me baby, but hey I guess that's normal around here. The clam chowder was awesome. Checked out a hippie bookstore too. There's like at least three tat shops right in this Broadway area. It's so much like some of the areas back in Portland.

Also hopped a bus to Kansas and took quite a walk to get to Oklahoma Joes which was recommended by Anthony Bourdain as the best BBQ in the midwest. When I finally got to Mission I had to look for it a bit. It turned out to be in the back of a convenience store behind a gas station. But I saw smoke behind it and bbq smelled good. Inside was a little dining hall where this is the local hotspot for good eating. I had a sandwich and fries. It turned out very delich. I'm not sure it was worth the extra bus ride and long walk, but hey I can say I've been there. And it was good. I was missing the Portland sushi and Oregon water back home, but KC has it's own local delicacies. If you're into BBQ, KC is heaven.

So then I went back to Crown Center and had frozen custard, another delicacy and harder to get back home. Then I headed back to the ghetto. I will say one thing that while I do often miss some things in Portland now, I know when I get back there will things about KC I'll miss. IHOP of course, but also BBQ and frozen custard.

A Sunday in Kansas

Okay, so one thing that confuses people back home is Kansas City's whole thing with Kansas/Missouri. Are you going to Kansas or Missouri? Okay, think for a moment that Vancouver is part of Portland (I know it isn't really, but just bare with me). You have the state border going right through at the Columbia. It's that way with KC. Part of KC is in Missouri and part is in Kansas. The border is the State Line Road which goes right through till it gets to the Missouri River which continues the border. Although, I don't really know much of the KC, Kansas scene, since it seems like most of action happens on the Missouri side to the East. So I guess KC, Kansas could be compared to our Vancouver, since not much really happens there either. Confused yet?

Sunday I decided to skip Forerunner church and get going on my road trip. Just stopped by the prayer room and had communion. Hey my kind of church. The thing I like about what these guys do is that's it's an everyday lifestyle, not a Sunday morning thing. But they do have a regular Sunday service for the interns, and it's a good way for everyone to gather to worship and hear the Word. But this weekend was rather a vacation for me, a way to get out from the usual.

I wanted to see what Kansas had to offer. And guess what? More flatlands. There are some scenic drives, but it was still winter, so it was mostly bare oaks and elms on the route I took. I decided to take the Civil War frontier byway. So I set out on a very foggy morning, having fun with the satellite radio, but trying to keep a close eye ahead, with what little I could see. I'd alternate from the black gospel station to a station reading Sufferings in Africa, an account of Captain Riley's journey through Morocco as a slave after being shipwrecked.

I spent the day checking out the La Cygne massacre site, the Mine Creek battlefield, and Fort Scott. There wasn't much to see. Just closed museums from Sunday, lots of driving on long rough roads and hiking through mushy grass. My favorite old army boots don't hold now and the only reward for my wet socks were information markers. You know, couldn't the Civil War people have left a broken cannon or two for us future spectators? When almost finishing the drive, I was a bit disappointed as I was yesterday. But often these trips do have some good, you just have to look for it a bit. The snow was mostly gone as I'd gone further South. Since Oklahoma actually wasn't that far down, I decided to go the whole way. There ended up being a great sunset right upon the time of crossing the border and I got some good pics that perhaps I should make into Okie tourist propaganda. It was already after 5 and so didn't feel like driving to Tulsa or doing Okie stuff, so I turned back.

So now was the long trip home at night. I decided to listen to Mike Bickle's message on Joseph and bearing the reproach. After seeing a bit of Charles Stanley on TV talk about on Joseph before I left, I figured there might be a theme in this for me. When driving long hours in darkness by yourself, I guess you end up having time with God, since there's no one else to talk to.

I decided after darkness had well set in, and it'd been a while since I saw a city or town, I'd stop and check out the night sky. The advantage of these roads especially for a photography freak is really you can stop anytime you want. I stopped at what seemed like a decent location by the side of the road. I step out of the car into the silent darkness and what I saw blew me away. Sweeping over me was the glorious midwestern starry sky on a clear night. I don't get to see this clear of a sky in the city, so the country sky still amazes me. The moon I believe was to the Northwest, hard to see near the horizon, the other way I could see Orion in all it's splendour. I might have seen stars all my life, but I'm still fascinated by them, and they put me in my place as David writes about in the Psalms.

I stayed out for a little while and worked on my night photography. Quite an experience. Darkness and silence at one moment then the next the rush of whatever cars would pass by. I'd enjoy the peace, and then hang on for dear life as a diesel roared by, then feeling the afterwind. Some might think I'm a bit crazy doing these kind of things, but I would say hey why not? Many have driven these kind of roads at night with thoughts of the destination, but have you stopped and wondered what the world might look like around you for the moment? Try stopping sometime and look at the stars. It's worth it.

Most of the trip afterwards was a similar dark drive, listening to Mike Bickle's message, and then some Misty and Audra Lynn CDs. I did manage to stop by another rest stop, that had great shots of the byway in the fog. After that I went home. Upon returning after a long trip through the outskirts of KC, I downed a Sonic sandwich, then sat in the prayer room for a while, where there was a great session with a lady leading that I wasn't familiar with. Some of the music they play here seems heavenly. I've heard it being compared to a small piece of heaven where every different people tribe gather to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord.

Well, now the rented car is returned. It was fun for a time. Back to walking to the prayer room, but at least with better weather. But hey at least I have a coffeemaker now.

A Weekend of Freedom

A weekend of freedom.

So the past weekend I rented a car.

Friday I was able to buy groceries and explore the city a bit. My ignorance showed when it turned out KC has quite jazz history. The jazz district has the real deal, and not so white like the college jazz scene we have around Portland. In another area was a twin piano bar, kind of on the seedy side, but with great musicians who played that old kind of rock'n'roll. Oh yeah, and I managed to drive by 12th and Vine which is mentioned in that old song, "Kansas City here I come."

Saturday, having had enough of city life for the weekend, I set out for Jamesport, which is an Amish and Mennonite community in Missouri to the North past Lathrop. On the way, I saw a cemetary, which I enjoy taking photos of especially when decorated by bare trees and winter snow. I barely even need to use the black and white feature on my camera.

Finally arriving in Jameport, I kind of expected the place to look like the video for Weird Al's Amish Paradise, but instead there was mostly cars and old towny buildings. There were a few horse and carriages, just enough to block the road. While I do appreciate their simple farm life, I still had to get going so I'd pass them. And there were a few bearded guys and ladies in properly modest dresses amongst the whole thing although I was wondering if they were just costumes for the tourist trap. I had to find something good though. One shop had frozen custard, which I'm a sucker for. At another place I got Amish-made plum butter, which I'd have to say is quite delich. Although I made my way down rough roads to see a cheese shop, which was just a tiny place with expensive cheese, although made right from the farm, which is pretty cool. I guess lots of driving is just a part of life around here. After looking at a book, quilt, and furniture store and reading up on the Amish ways, I turned back, a bit dissappointed with the whole thing. But then the drive back turned out decent. Got pics of the frozen Grand River, and saw a good sunset.

Came back that night to see some of the Awakening meeting, where they had testimonies a students from Asbury College. Then they prayed for college campuses and students. I can remember back when I went to community college when I had a vision for that sort of thing. We'd meet in little prayer groups and have worship services. I had some trouble praying along, because I felt like I've gone through all this years ago. But hey things have changed for the better in many ways, as far as ministry goes. I certainly don't want to let my cynicism affect their faith and energy. And I certainly don't want to be like those in Jesus' hometown who just couldn't get it when He was ministering right there. Hey, maybe if I hang around long enough their faith and energy might just rub off on me.

Life in Kansas City

Well, the others have left and gone, and I'm here for my time as a nomad.

Needless to say, the prayer room is awesome. I haven't had a car so I'd walk or get rides from people. My hotel however is another thing. Internet that sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. No coffeemaker, no dishes and it's way out here is the Southeast ghetto near Grandview where the only places I see to buy groceries in the near area are 7/11 and an outlet store with outdated products. And sometimes I ended up fasting coffee, more by inconvenience than choice.

But I had to get out so then yesterday I took a bus that only leaves early in morning and comes back around 5. The weather was somewhat better and I managed to get a good handle on the layout of the city and went a few places. Crown Center was a basic mall where I got a frozen custard and checked out a Waldenbooks which was closing out with 60% discounts. And I checked out Liberty Memorial which was covered in snow. After lots of trudging through snow I finally found the WW1 museum inside. Urban station had some cool stuff like an Irish exhibit, a huge model train set, and some kind a can stacking show. Also checked out shops on Broadway and had lunch at a very spicy Indian buffet. This area seemed rather Portland like and I'm glad to have had a chance to see the city.

The people here are more or less friendly, some more than others. Did that black lady bus driver just call me baby? And did that waitress at the restaurant call me honey? You don't see that too often in Portland. What can I say, the ladies love me here.

But I do know one thing, that living out here makes me appreciate the little things in life, a decent cup of coffee in the morning, a working internet, a drink of crisp Oregon water, the freedom of a car, etc.

This weekend I rented a car. So now I can go on roadtrips. We'll see what adventures are in store.

IHOP

Oh wow, I hadn't realized it's been so long since I've blogged. I'm in the prayer room at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City right now, trying to catch up on my internet stuff. Justin Rizzo is leading right now, and they are praying for the school. This session has had a rocking violin, and now there's weird synth effects playing. Cool. It's six degrees outside, where you can see a parking lot with cars covered with snow and icicles.

The flight went well. After that we dropped our stuff off at the apartments, then took the road trip to Lathrop a little hic town where we met up with Pastor's friends Asa and Carol who planted a church out there. The rest of the time we've spent here in Kansas City. We have 14 people this time. God is definitely doing a work in me and it's awesome to see what He's doing in the others here.

Last night was intense. Not like the IHOP I remember visiting a couple years back. It was similar to the Toronto revival I visited about 11 years ago. After 10 years of 24/7 prayer and worship there seems to be no sign of it fading. I've been there twice in years past and each year I go seems to get more intense.

Other times in the prayer room are more chill and I've been reading this book by Brennan Manning called "The Furious Longing of God". A short book, but it's hard to even get past a few pages without being overwhelmed, especially with this incredible worship being played up front. He has a way of writing that brings new life out of truths that you might've already known.

I guess that's really just a summary. Seems like too much to tell at once. But hey I'm having a great time.