The Process

Sitting here at the computer, blogging with a Misty Edwards worship session playing, I take it easy as let my knees heal further. It's a process, and actually a good process, as many things are being learned during this time. I believe that God heals, sometimes in an instant, sometimes gradually, whatever will accomplish His purpose. And I have seen healing. In fact after that day people at church prayed for me the pain had lessened and I felt I was on the mend after getting input from a doctor. It's gone on for the past few weeks, and at one time I couldn't bend my leg past a certain point and could barely walk up the stairs. It's much better now and though I still deal the pain somewhat from standing long periods at work or church, it's more manageable. And I'm on the way to getting even better.

It's a mild case of knee arthritis, and I had gotten the injury in both my knees, likely from lunging and squatting too much too soon thinking it would strengthen my legs. Found out later from a doctor that with certain people lunges can hurt more than help. And then on top of that injuring it further by not really knowing how to treat it those weeks, and working out, working two jobs, and maybe not getting enough sleep.

Pastor says it's hard to imagine me trying to eat healthy. I'm doing whatever I can in my research to fight the arthritis. Yes, I have been that desperate, and while I'm not going vegi anytime soon, I'm adding more of the things I've heard will help and lessening the things that hinder. From what I've read the things to avoid are coffee, alcohol, sugar, excess salt, dairy and chicken. Terrible, huh? And while I like vegis it's hard to imagine actually making a meal out them. And whole grain is a chore to eat. Of course I've been hanging out at the sushi places which has healthy food I actually enjoy.

I'm one that likes to deal with the root of the problem, and natural is the way to go. One of the problems with western medicine is the amount of drugs used with all their side effects and addictions. If I wanted to get high I'd go get a bong. Ever see the movie, First do no Harm with Meryl Streep? Most probably haven't, but many have seen Beautiful Mind which comes to mind at the moment. Everyone says take an aspirin, but I'd rather actually fix something than just mask the pain. I do take Aleve at times which apparently helps the inflammation, but I can't live on that stuff. Icepacks are okay, but I still have memories from just a few weeks ago of the hopelessness of sitting there with ice and spending so much time playing computer games. My legs could barely bend at one time. So I started researching. What I got out of one martial arts forum was take joint supplements like candy, drink tons of water, and when the pain hits drink lots of beer. :-) I did start taking the joint supplements, saw a doctor which I hadn't done in ages, and got a bunch of time off. A friend gave me a bit of white flower essential oil which cools things down and is a good substitute for ice and works well on the go.

While lessening martial arts for a period, I ended up biking which was doctor-recommended as it builds up the quads while being easy on the knees. It's kind of cool, ending up with a new hobby which I really love. And so I bike all over town with the rush of wind in my face, and in the meantime getting the sleep I need from cutting down my work hours. I'm liking this by far more than running. It's easier, faster, and I can actually go places. While running was something I had to motivate myself for, biking is one thing I actually look forward to. And when it's something you like, you figure out reasons to go to places around the area so you can ride your bike.

Friends have been so supportive as well. Not only is this a growing experience, but I believe it's drawing me closer to God after some drifting seasons. And when people ask me about the knees, I tell them it's mending little by little.

You ever think that the Scriptures on healing are good, but have trouble believing in the real thing? Especially being in charismatic settings for years and hearing it taught, but rarely seeing it. As we get older we can get hardened and cynical, because for some reason believing what we see is easier for us, than trying to believe something better which we don't see in the moment. After all if we come up with doctrines which explain away healing, stay sick, or keep the same problems, stay depressed, keep the addictions, don't follow up on dreams, don't grow, etc. then things are safer. You don't have the feeling of hopes which are dashed which sucks. Even the problems and obstacles of now we can just learn to live with, as oppose to keeping dreams alive that have yet to happen.
I'm thinking that years of choosing the right attitude is much of what makes the difference between the elderly ones that love life who people like hanging around and the cranky ones who chose to be cynical throughout their life and now people don't enjoy being around them.

The song I have playing on my blog is Again by Cynical Limit and like so many of his songs old-school rocker Dennis Cameron hits it on the nose regarding dreams yet to come. Bummer guys, I couldn't figure out how to get the user control, so you'll just have to listen or mute it yourself. :-)

I'm just starting to get back to recording, which is one more dream hard for me to keep up, but I have no excuse now. Life gets crazy, but I figure, take at least little bit, even five minutes during the day to do something to progress whatever dream God put in your heart. And those five minutes can be the hardest five minutes, but it's worth it. Another day a little bit closer. Uh oh, I hope I'm not sounding like a self-help book...

Here's to healing, life, and the dreams to be fulfilled.