Climbing More Mountains

Today I am taking advantage of a unique Saturday off during the Christmas season. Work abounds and sleep diminishes. I figure I'll take advantage of the work while I can get it as I need the money. I can rest in January. Especially when I take the needed sabbatical week on the trip to Kansas City, where me and other worship teamsters and church leaders will spend time at the International House of Prayer. I need something like that so badly, as so many things are starting to come together for me in life, but I need to bring God back into focus as my first priority. I can remember the prophetic word I received last time I was there that I'd climbed so many mountains and that I will climb many more.

Knees are finally better after a long process of healing. I went to see The Frames in concert the other day and stood for three hours. Tired, but my knees were okay. When I revisited the knee specialist they asked if I had gotten physical therapy like they recommended. I responded no, but I did take an extreme health diet, and exercised with a bike back to health. The doctor said you seem to have done what you needed to do and no therapist could have done that for you. My guidance was books and internet research. Just go to the library. But the doctor says he'd never seen anybody actually do that. Well, hey I guess I'm a one-of-a-kind nerd.

And now my martial arts has gotten even better. Just passed my test to high green belt. Let me explain something. Taekwondo isn't doing fancy Chuck Norris kicks to impress your friends, and I continually get frustrated by the modern society's view. And it's nothing like the trash-talking attitudes portrayed by those tattooed MMA guys you see on TV. Taekwondo is a whole way of life instilling ancient Asian values involving respecting your elders and leaders, developing confidence, getting in shape, self-defense, learning to focus, overcoming, getting back up when fallen, and making the world a better place. And so I find things gradually changing for me both inside and outside. At one time I felt like a cripple, and of course I could keep my music which is everything to me, but thought I might have to give up taekwondo. I constantly thank God for letting me keep doing taekwondo. The pain, the triumphs, and everything involved the past year has just led to a bigger plan. Whatever box I've been put in whether by others or by myself is being broken. In the past I'd just played my guitar and read fantasy books and didn't catch on to sports easily, and I just let myself be categorized. No more. And though I've progressed by far from the awkwardness I started with, I still have barely begun and have years to go. I at first wanted to just get a few skills, but now I want to go the distance. Martial arts is a lifetime process. And even if you stop, you can still take it up again later.

And the cool thing about biking is that though I needed to it for therapy, I've now grown to love it and I'm doing it pretty regularly now. Why drive short distances around town when you can bike? Save gas, help the environment, get in shape, all good stuff. It's a great crosstrainer for taekwondo as it builds leg muscles and endurance, which can help me spar better and longer. When I bike to Target and stretch, I feel awesome and can interact with guests well and work with energy. I feel free as I go where I will without the dependence on technology.

Boxes are being broken, and I have determined not to let anything others would say or think determine my way of living. People in church act like being single in the 30s must be miserable, and of course there is testing involved as there is in marriage, but now I don't have time to let myself be depressed. I don't want to bring my own baggage into relationships, and have learned to steer clear of others' baggage as well. How do you go about doing that in a world like this? Good question, and all I can say is this leads to dependence on God, however long it takes. I work out regularly with a married friend, where I help entertain his kids and give him a chance to work out. We talk about the differences. He wishes he could keep up and do martial arts or whatever, but is too busy. I'm still free for many adventures to come.

I say this has turned into some of the greatest times of my life. Heartaches and storms in the past were mere birthings and are being healed. Though I've gotten older, I feel like life is just beginning, and times in my 20s seem but a vague memory. The thing is that as much as I love books and movies, the past few years I've had this great desire to experience life, not just read about it. I don't want to just read about fighting, I want to learn it myself. I don't want to just look at grand pictures of mountains and canyons and oceans, I want to see them myself. And nothing shown on the big screen in the theater can compare with seeing a true landscape. I don't want to just watch the travel channel, I want to visit those countries. And I don't want to just read the Bible, I want to see the dead being raised.

During my last belt test, I heard bagpipe music from the gymn next door which brought Braveheart to mind and helped take away my nervousness. I recently watched the movie which I hadn't seen in a while, and now I want to live by the words from William Wallace's dying father: "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."