A Year in Retrospect

Hmmm. What to do for New Years Eve? I say sleep. Sweet wonderful sleep. As I'm now off United Parcel Smashers, I no longer have to get up 2 in the morning for the next month. Just two more days of Bullseye Corp and I'm home free. Monday morning, I hop on the plane for Kansas City for my four week long sabbatical. Pray for the flight that we have decent weather and no terrorists with smokebombs in their pants.

Christmas was good. Had a little get-together with my immediate family, and then later my relatives. Got food, money and a new game Jade Empire. I'm just glad the season is coming to a close and getting ready for a new decade.

Thought I'd at least blog about my life for the last year or so. There was so much to learn, and since the beginning of the year God pulled me out of discouragement and brought me to new places. Still it's been a bit dry spiritually and I am counting the days till I visit an outpouring of the type I haven't seen in years. To be honest it sounds almost unreal, like something that was in the past. I've got to see this for myself.

I'd actually planned this coming trip since the beginning of last year. I love the city of Portland, but I needed a change of pace. Which is interesting as freespirits seem to flock to pdx when they need a change in life. But hey, a conservative midwest culture might do me some good. As long as the house of prayer is there, I'll be fine. I want to be where people are hungry for the presence of God, like I used to be years ago before I got so cynical. Where the arts are finally emphasized in Biblical way and not a cheesy copy of the world. I guess a lot of things going on during a dry season were in preparation for the things to come.

So about this year, well I'm trying to remember. For some reason even at 33, months ago seems like ages ago as I feel like I'm in another stage of life. Where do I even begin? Went to the coast a couple times, Eaglecrest, Mount Saint Helens, went shootin' a couple times, Silver Falls in winter, checked out the usual falls around the gorge a few times, caught a sunrise at Crown Point, camped near Mt Hood with church, went fishing on the Columbia, got pro-tools, wrote a couple good songs, got a mandolin, got my eardrums blasted at a Motorhead concert, got a new tat, and started taking up a martial art. And of course worked my usual two jobs and helped out at church.

For some reason the tat surprised some people, though it's not as big of a deal as some might think as I already had one from the year before. But there is a lot of personal meaning for me as well as my influence from a fantasy novel. Call me weird, but that's how I express myself. It has the coat of arms of an elven king in The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, a diamond type frame with a harp and torch. Below is written the elvish letters for "linde lomesse" which means "song in the night".

One major change was the interest in martial arts, which also came as a surprise to people. The usual sports might not be my thing, but I'm realizing personal fitness shouldn't be ignored. Tae Kwon Do can be pursued intellectually from the foundations, steadily growing step by step with practice and expressing yourself, the same way one might learn a musical instrument or an art...and I wanted to be able to kick butt. Self-defense, fitness, confidence, and discipline are all good things, and it's fun as well. It's certainly better than sitting around getting a beer belly. Make sense? Now that I think about it, the question is why wouldn't anyone want to learn this?

As for church we had a great year. Promises were fulfilled in individual lives and also God brought us together with another church in Camas and we've become one church with the same heart and vision. New faces blended in just fine with each other, and it's hard to imagine life as just the southside anymore. We now have many worshipping singers and musicians with great hearts and a lot of talent. I don't have to feel like I carry the worship team anymore. In fact in a lot of ways they carry me these days.

Pastor is hoping I'll get new songs during my sabbatical. I'm definitely for that, but mainly want to focus on God and get things in order spiritually. You know, get a good perspective as I grow. And if songs come they come, all the better.

So that's all for now folks. Have a great New Year!

Christmas

And so the day is fast approaching. I finally got just about all my shopping done. After the busyness of life and two jobs, I'm tired and looking forward to my long vacation in January.

Some might wonder why I have so much cynicism toward the holidays. Well, here's the thing, it's not Christmas in itself I hate, but all the hustle and bustle, the commercialism, etc. If I really thought of how Christmas should be I'd prefer a Charles Dickens atmosphere over a crazy Black Friday mob in a corporate environment. Though I have to admit all this craziness has helped pay the bills for me with one of my jobs being with a delivery company and the other being retail. I least I have work.

There's a video on the internet which advertises a Jesus action figure, which though funny is rather offensive. But it does show the rediculousness of Christian consumerism. I don't read of the apostles celebrating Christmas as they were busy doing real stuff Christians should be doing like spreading the Gospel, helping the poor, healing the sick, etc.

It seems interesting to me that very month of celebration seems to be the time when relationship with God slacks. I know how hard it is to lead a congregation to worship during the holidays. My own prayer times have slacked a bit being so busy. That's my own fault, of course, but the whole hustle and bustle thing isn't helping.

I guess this is just a rant. Don't really know what to do to change things. I suppose try to find ways to help others, and I do appreciate the various groups that help children, single parents, the homeless, etc. I think Christmas and Thanksgiving should be a time of grace for the down and out. I guess there are other things we can do as well, like reconcile with relatives if there are family problems.

But really when it comes down to it, the best thing you can do this a better holiday season is buy me more presents.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

The Sunrise

Here I was racing up the Butte as the sky gets brighter and brighter. Will I beat the Sun this time? I try to refrain from cursing as I tail someone heading to the CBC parking lot on the way. Move, I'm trying to beat the sunrise and then have an awesome spiritual experience! The guy pulls in out the way thank goodness. Then some truck is in front, so I look carefully then pass him on the other lane on the hill. So it's less cautious, but I want my sunrise photo!

Finally I make it. I hurriedly put on another sweater under my coat and grab my gloves and camera, then I open the trunk with my tripod. I hurry up the steps carrying my tripod, then say hi to the familiar dog and then to his master, the old guy who sometimes hangs around there in the morning, then I make it...just in time. I go over to where another guy is already shooting and I drop my tripod and take a few handheld shots. It's a beauty. I agreed with the other guy that it could use more clouds, but hey I'll take it. It was a good sunrise and a decent, yet very cold photography session.

When I do this kind of thing I often think about God, my life and where it's going, etc. I thought about my coming trip to Kansas City, and just what God might ask of me. In fact even now He's asking me to lay things aside. For example, fasting, most think it's a good idea, but we make excuses for why not too. I work this day, I hang out with friends this day, I work out this day, I don't want to lose weight, etc. etc. etc. There's always a reason. I'm wanting to not wait for a trip to experience God, and yet life has seems to have it's obstacles.

Things are so different now. God has so many plans that we don't always expect. How did I get to this point? Five or ten years ago I was more into music and reading and being involved in church, but wasn't as active, though I did visit some of the latest outpourings such as Toronto, Brownsville, Mexico missions. Now I could be working two jobs, flying to Kansas City to hang out at a prayer room, or driving to who knows where to get a good photo, or hanging around Hawthorne getting inked and of course taking up martial arts. There's personal reasons for all these things that have long stories. Taekwondo is my latest hobby and seemed to come as a surprise to some, though it made total sense to me. So the word around the grapevine with friends I grew up with and our parents is that a Taylor actually did something active. Breaking news I tell you. I'm surprised it's not in the Oregonian.

Okay so people that haven't seen me in a while are assuming some things, so let me set some records straight. When I left Portland Victory I came to attend what was at the time called Parkrose Christian Center. I still attend the same church though it's gone through several changes and names. It is now called Truelife. So no I don't attend Family Worship Center and I don't attend City Bible Church, though I did attend their Bible college for a couple years. I've stuck with the same church through the ups and downs. Some are amazed that it's survived through everything. We're well past that. We weren't called to survive, but to do God's work in the city. And in fact we are alive and well. When people ask how many attend our church, I say, I don't know. I didn't count. And who cares anyway. I heard a joke in Spain once. One pastor says to the other, "Hey guess what, my church gained 20 people." And the other pastor says, "Hey that's great, and guess what. We just got rid of 20 problems." We have two campuses now from our merging with another church in Camas and it's keeping us plenty busy though of course we do want to grow further.

Same with myself. Like everyone else I go through stuff, but if people act sorry for me, I'm like what the heck? Though I certainly wouldn't mind prayer, life's too full of wonder to sit around just hanging in there. Now is different than last year and whatever rough times I've had has shaped me into who I am today. And yes I've at times wanted to turn away from God, but He just wouldn't let go. And something deep within me wouldn't give up either.

And so the sun has risen and I'm cold. Photography session is done. Time to pack up and head down. I'm definitely looking forward to my trip to Kansas City. Desert seasons have been long. I'm still young and dreams are still big. Hope remains strong in the song of the night. But now it's time for refreshing. Three more weeks to go.