High Elevation

I finally a bit of time have some time to write, since I didn't work this morning, though I do work my other job later.

I'm not sure what to write, except sum up my adventures, though that is a bit surfacy, but write a bit of what's going on with me, though lots of internal and hard to write out. I'll see what I can do...

This week, took some time away to go to Silver Falls. I wanted to do a Survivorman thing, though it wasn't exactly wild, and I wasn't exactly eating bugs or fighting bears, but Silver Falls is one of my favorite places to go. Biking, hiking, photographing. Twas nice even in cloudy weather.

Also recently started taking Aikido over summer, giving my knuckles and feet and much needed break from Taekwondo, and trying to learn things like falling, grappling, etc, a completely different side. The type of thing you see Steven Seagal do, but ever so slower and awkward. Fun stuff.

Last night I went to the Blues Festival to see Buddy Guy. When I arrived my friend texted that the gates closed as it packed out. I resisted the urge to text back a certain four letter word. Disappointed, we biked the Hawthorne Bridge to go hang out, but then ended up finding a great spot where we could hear the music and see the side of the stage from afar. It actually ended up being nice not to be packed like sardines on the grass. We were just chilling on bikes on a summer evening over the Waterfront looking at the boats while Buddy Guy wailed as usual. Twas awesome. How Portlandia, huh.

I ended up being later than intended to the event, partly by my ineptness at using Light Rail, but I also got involved in a couple long discussions at my work involving God and a few other things. I've made some decent friendships and relationships the last few years from both work and church. Some Christians, some very much not so Christian, but for some reason enjoy my company. And I don't fully comprehend it all, because I seem to develop rather peculiar relations with others as I myself grow in many ways.

As for my relations with God, I suppose some would say it's held firm, though I don't always feel that way. God is so much a part of my life, I just don't go around fasting and singing everywhere I go now. Sometime it seems like the "radical Christian" lifestyle can become an escape mechanism, almost like consuming oneself with hobbies, TV, video games or even drugs. I believe in spending time at the prayer room, but get out and enjoy life as well. It took a while to come to that conclusion. Things I'd questioned when really they were things I needed to go through to get to where I am now.

I'd learned much through books and life, and as strange as it is, through eastern martial arts philosophy such as "pain is your friend", respect authority and elders, get up when down no matter what life throws at you, overcoming, be humble and courteous to others in confidence and strength, and lots of good stuff like that. I discuss these types of things with my Pastor and other Christians, and I say hey, despite the eastern mysticism, look at the fruit. I didn't learn this stuff in church, or maybe they tried, but it didn't take. Seemed like much emphasized was pray and worship all the time, live holy, convert everybody and have revivals. But as much as I tried that way of thinking for years it didn't seem to work.

There were also a couple books that helped give answers, one being Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, where it speaks on how to make a better life story, conflicts, victories and all. The other was Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross. The conference type teachings of being a "radical hardcore Christian" seem very surfacy, compared to real meat like this. But really this type of book I think appeals more as we get older. Here's a good way to explain the concepts in the book of how God interacts with us. There's a scene in the movie Ray, where Ray Charles is becoming blind as a boy and he stumbles around the room feeling alone and crying for his mother, while she's actually there watching in silence, but does nothing, because she knew that he had to learn to get along. In the same way, God hides from us, and we mature. We base less on charismatic experiences. As sins and vices prevail much of the time, we become much more reliant upon grace than our own attempts at right living. Maybe they should write a book called "Seven ways to get burned and mature." I wonder how well that would sell.

I wish I'd learned much of all this back in my twenties, but maybe experience was the best teacher. Climbing in the higher parts of the mountains, I can look back with quite a view. My story turned out very different than expected. But hey life is happening, and it will be continue to be interesting, because I really don't know what's next.