A Continuing Journey of Faith

Lately I've been in a seeking mode. I said on my Instagram video that it's like I'm in a cocoon, seeking God anew. The Scripture has come alive as I seek answers about end times and other things in the faith. I realize that my knowledge and understanding of the Scripture isn't enough to really know end-times like I want to. It's not just Revelation, Daniel and a few Old Testament prophets. It's the whole Bible, Genesis, Exodus, the history of Israel, the prophets and the Gospels and epistles. 

I want to know what is going on prophetically nowadays and where we are in the grand scheme of things, but I realize I need to know the heart of God for Israel and the world in general and His plan for the world. I can't just jump into the present and future without a strong foundation of what has already happened.

I've devoured books, lecture, podcasts and documentaries about the Middle East, Israel, the Early Church, etc. I want to know how we got to where we are now. Things started going awry when ideas started creeping in after the 2nd or 3rd century and then got institutionalized in the Catholic church. 

Things like praying to saints and Mary instead of Jesus Himself as our interceding priest and installing the pope with all authority. Along with this they started treating the events of endtimes as symbolic and faraway, not really applying to how we live our lives now.

Dispensationalist Darby challenged these assumptions, and set up a framework for how we interpret endtimes in the evangelical church of today. But he went too far the other direction. He brought back ideas like support for a literal Israel and the events of Revelation as literal and corresponding to how we live our lives now, which is good. But he also predicted future events with charts and tables, putting the assumptions together in with the facts in a way that doesn't make complete sense to me. Some of these things happened in the past, some are in the future, some are current, and some are symbolic, and much is left a mystery on purpose and only the Holy Spirit can help us to interpret these things. 

The problem with theological textbook approaches is they try to logic everything to a certain lens and force everything through that lens. "This all happened in the past." or "This must represent this, because this current event kind of aligns with these numbers." Taking the mysticism out and forcing a modern point of view is leading to a lot of misunderstandings with Scripture. 

We build denominations on whether we have a free will or are predestined when there is Scriptural support for both. My view is that if God is truly sovereign He could give us a completely free will and we make our own choices while ALSO having written down our names for salvation before the foundations of the Earth. How's that for something that will blow your mind?

And so does God leave some things unanswered? For some things, yes. While this drives me nuts, it's also something I have to accept in humility, while other things He wants me to search out, and let Him speak to me.

And so I go on in my search.

I don't accept the status quo of the modern evangelical church, who now seem to pretend endtimes don't exist and push the prophetic aside if it doesn't fit the program. I know there's more than just cool worship music and revival experiences. The prophetic, signs and wonders, worship and core doctrine needs to be active, as the world is getting darker and darker. But churches just go on as normal.

I've particularly been concerned by the amount of scandals we are seeing with pastors and leaders, in both famous organizations and local churches. I shared in our home group, how the church got close to the manifest glory during the revival days in the 90s, but I think the reason it didn't continue in the same way is that God relented and started cleaning house. Scandals have been coming out from everywhere in the last 20 or 30 years, even among those who push holiness and living alive for God.

It makes me wonder if these movements were real. They were, but human vessels mess up sometimes. Look at David, the most important worship leader in Israel, as well as the church. He messed up bad, but he still wrote many Psalms and Scriptures. 

In the Bible when the manifest glory showed up, people died if they messed something up, like Ananias and Sapphira or the they guy that died when he carried the ark wrong. It's God's heart to manifest Himself, but I think one reason He's holding back is to protect us. He's also cleaning up His bride. Whether on the mountain or deep in the desert valley He will accomplish what He needs to in us.

I shared this in our home group, and maybe I'll share it online. It brings a healthy fear in me. That literally anyone can mess up. Me, family, people I know. Even my pastors who I trust are still only human. We don't always know what God's doing on the inside by what we see. By the same token the worst sinner can get saved and God will use them. 

I see redemption all over the scriptures, even in the Old Testament. Israel failed their part, but God still wants to redeem them. Man in general failed his part, but God made a way through the cross. And He not only wants to just redeem us, but He wants to sanctify us. A process that He will do in us to bring about a holy respect for Him. So He can at least give us a glimpse as He did with Moses without killing our human bodies in the process.

But His heart is to live among us as it says in Revelation 21. It's His heart to draw close even more than ours. And no matter how long it takes in His way beyond human comprehension He will make this happen.